In a country enamored with using superlatives (I hope to coin the words “superlatize” and superlatization) in an attempt to contextualize the feats of modern athletes among those of legends, we excessively and prematurely dole out greatest of all time (GOAT) labels. Think of the overabundance of Kobe and Jordan comparisons. Thanks to this climate, I have always fantasized of one day being a GOAT.
My freshman year, upon hearing that LSU’s JaMarcus Russell threw a football 85 yards while standing, 65 yards kneeling, and 45 yards lying down, I organized what I believe was Vassar College’s first ever Pro Day to showcase the NFL-readiness of myself and some friends. Unfortunately, no scouts attended, but I learned that I can throw from my knees just as far as JaMarcus Russell can lying down.
Since I realized that I would never be a GOAT, uncovering the next “diamond in the rough” and sharing this endowed athlete with the world seemed like a more reasonable endeavor. To carry a fantasy like this in my pocket, I overstate my ability to scout and evaluate talent. To those who question my scouting ability, I offer an eloquently paraphrased, self-serving quotation I once saw in my coach’s office: “the eye for talent is rarer than the talent itself.” That line segues into boasting about my biggest scouting accomplishment ever, winning an autographed JaMarcus Russell helmet because I predicted more 1st round picks than anyone at the 2007 NFL Draft, including my idol, Mel Kiper Jr. Put it this way: when I people-watch at the Retreat, I don’t judge appearances, I grade draft prospects.
I once again hit the jackpot with my overstated talent evaluation skills because I nabbed what I consider two of the greatest athletes in the history of Vassar College for housemates.
Honestly, this realization just snuck up on me today, so let me give some unexpected and overdue props to two of my four housemates (sorry Katie and Kristina, you’re cool too), Michael Mattelson and Emily Haeuser, tennis king and basketball queen.
After crunching numbers all morning, I conclude that Mike will go down in the Vassar men’s tennis annals as the GOAT and Emily will most likely finish her career as Vassar women’s basketball’s most prolific rebounder and a top 3 scorer.
I remember seeing Mike for the first time in Coach Kroll’s office with all the other freshmen trying out, and thinking that he didn’t look old enough to be in college. The first time I saw Mike play was a practice match outdoors against this stud recruit from Bolletieri’s IMG Academy whose tennis background intimidated everyone. In the only point I watched, the Bolletieri guy cracked a first serve and Mike shanked it over the fence so I figured that little Mikey was getting trounced. Turns out he won. I realized that this nondescript, little kid could play when he ripped a crosscourt forehand winner off a ball up around his head from then captain Erik Skartvedt’s heavy topspin forehand. Coach and I exchanged looks of bewilderment and mouthed in unison, “Whoa.”
I still haven’t fully realized the extent of Mike’s tennis mastery. I practice with him everyday but it wasn’t until recently when I played IM doubles with him that something about his game struck me. He was closing on volleys the way Ray Lewis comes through the gap and lights up a running back. I was playing with a linebacker who took control of the net and made a play on just about every ball. It wasn’t just his quickness that elicited the cross-sport comparisons with Ray Lewis, it was his ball-striking. When Ray Lewis hits somebody, there’s a characteristic violence, a frightening extra bit of pop that I also notice in Mike’s volleys.
I remember the first time I played basketball with Emily, the tall girl on my hall, and at some point between her unblockable southpaw shot, baby hooks and vicious elbows to my gut, I commented, “Dude, you’re more physical than the guys I play with.” She didn’t appreciate that comparison but it worked in my favor because she adjusted her game, and instead of mauling me under the hoop, she drained contact-free jumpers right in my face. Remarkably, it seemed like I never had to box her out for a rebound because there really were not many anytime she shot the ball.
Because this is a lot to digest, let me put it in perspective. If someone came to me my freshman year, when I knew nothing about VC Athletics, and told me I had the opportunity to see two of the greatest athletes in school history in the final season of their collegiate careers, I would go see each of them play at least once. No joke.
At last year’s VC Athletics Banquet, the awards for Male and Female athlete of the year went to the super-couple of Scott Leserman and Emily Love. This Spring, imagine the stroll home from the Athletics Banquet, Emily on the left, Mike on right, each athlete of the year linked to an arm of the extraneous and unlikely node, me.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Vassar Slogan Help From My Father
I wasn’t planning on writing a blog today but I received some inspiration from the man who endowed me with my creativity, my dad. I figure that because Rick Reilly and Bill Simmons both have columns where they share interesting emails, and both have written pieces about their fathers; I can shoot for combining the two in this entry.
My “Vassar Needs a Slogan” post came out a few weeks ago, which is ages in the blogging community, but my pops came off the bench late in the game and delivered some great suggestions. Now I’ll share the fresh ideas and advice from the best teacher and hustler I know -- My dad. Non-pasteurized and unabridged, here is the greatest e-mail I’ve ever received. No faux superlative. No joke.
From: Sherwood Donahue
Date: November 12, 2009 9:09:23 AM EST
To: Shane Donahue
Subject: Re: VASSAR SLOGAN CONTEST
HERE ARE SOME ENTRIES FOR THE VASSAR SLOGAN CONTEST. PRIZE SHOULD BE AT LEAST $100. YOU NEED TO GET MORE READERS FOR YOUR BLOG. IT IS OUTSTANDING!
VASSAR WINS OR ELSE
CEREBRAL- "PONDER VICTORY"
BE TRUE TO YOUR SKOOL
WIN OR DIE
A WIN FOR VASSAR IS A WIN FOR ........... FILL IN (DA PEOPLE- HISTORY-HIGHER LEARNING.... (WATCH OUT FO THE DOUBLE MEANING ON THIS ONE))
THE PRIDE AND THE POISE ( RAIDERS DON'T NEED THIS ONE ANYMORE AND PEOPLE BACK EAST DON'T KNOW IT)
GIVE IT UP FOR VASSAR
VASSAR DON'T PLAY (MY PERSONAL FAVORITE)
VASSAR- FIGHT LIKE A PIT BULL
YOU GO AGAINST VASSAR, YOU ARE MAKING A BIG MISTAKE
VASSAR SAYS "MAKE OUR DAY" (MAYBE A PICTURE OF CLINT IS NEEDED WITH THE MAGNUM POINTING)
VASSAR IS GONNA GREEN ON YOU
Shane, I see a lucrative t-shirts business for the Sports Information Department or for an enterprising young student. Contact the art department for silkscreen guys. Feel free to use any of my slogans-examples-t-shirts etc.
Love Dad
Thursday, November 5, 2009
The Illusion of "Clutch"
I have always considered myself a “clutch” performer. I have never missed a penalty kick in soccer. In baseball, I celebrated my 8th birthday with a grand slam and was disappointed on my next birthday when I didn’t come through with the grand slam, but hit for the cycle instead.
In my Vassar tennis career, one shot stands out as clutch. Down 6-5 match point in the 3rd set tiebreaker against Coe College, I turned toward the back fence and crossed my arms with fists clenched to form an “X.” I stepped up to the ad side a few steps behind the baseline, twisting my racquet in my hand, ready to return. A booming first serve came and I ripped the biggest, cleanest forehand winner of my life, right down the line and yelled, “Allez!”
I went on to win the tiebreaker 10-8 but was disappointed by not winning sooner and having to use my X-Factor. My X-Factor refers to a sign I make by crossing my arms as a cue to concentrate in critical situations when I need to be clutch. I’ve been flaunting my X-Factor ever since the human joystick return specialist Dante Hall lit up the NFL and although I don’t think it always works, I only remember the times when it does.
My personal experience makes me question the idea of clutch. Can an athlete actually raise their level of play at critical moments or is clutch a construct or fabrication?
We remember all of Jordan’s buzzer beaters but we forget that he also missed 29 game-winning shots. Clutch implies that some internal state, aware of the situation’s gravity, makes Jordan more likely to hit a particular shot when it’s a buzzer beater as opposed to a routine 1st quarter FG.
John Elway’s famous 4th quarter comebacks make clutch seem like procrastination because he waited until the end of the game to play well as was the case with my aforementioned tennis match.
My tennis match was only clutch on an individual level anyway, because although it tied the team score at 4-4, Vassar dropped the final match and lost, rendering my clutch win irrelevant.
In certain cases, it takes only one spectacular play to earn clutch status as David Tyree did with the “Helmet Catch” in Superbowl XLII.
In last year’s Superbowl, the Steelers’ Ben Roethlisberger threw a beautiful pass that should have been caught by Santonio Holmes for the game-winning score. Imagine that Roethlisberger doesn’t make the equally spectacular game-winning pass a couple plays later. Is the first throw clutch by Roethlisberger even though Holmes dropped it? Even though Roethlisberger stepped up in that moment to deliver the perfect throw, he is not clutch if it is not completed and they do not win. It becomes a forgotten pass.
I decided to write a Sports Psyc research paper on clutch but my professor shot down that idea because there isn’t much empirical data for clutch performance. That makes sense because clutch is intangible and by definition, cannot be measured like a 40 time.
If clutch does exist, it may be a heightened state of arousal that improves concentration and enhances performance. Think of an average lady lifting up a car to save her child trapped underneath. This clutch phenomenon could be measurable through somatic components such as heart rate, blood pressure, and skin conductance; but it may be hard to take Tom Brady’s vitals while he’s leading a game-winning drive in a Superbowl.
There is a football scene in the movie The 6th Day starring Arnold Schwarzenegger the Governator (he’s my governor so I can call him that) and the QB has a heads-up display that tells the play and alerts him of blitzes. Perhaps this sort of breakthrough is not far off as helmets are already fitted with radios for calling plays. Researchers have placed sensors in helmets to measure the impact of a hit on the neck and head.
Today, we are probably capable of measuring vitals or even brain activity with EEG (Electroencephalography) by modifying a helmet. Sports psychology awaits that one key innovation that leads to a series of advances in performance studies. This moment of invention that spurs rapid technological advancement is known as the alpha barrier. Only 66 years after the Wright’s first heavier-than-air flight, man landed on the moon. I suspect that Sports Psychology is approaching an alpha barrier breakthrough that may help to explain the clutch phenomenon. For now, clutch is a convenient fiction so I can wait to debunk it.
In my Vassar tennis career, one shot stands out as clutch. Down 6-5 match point in the 3rd set tiebreaker against Coe College, I turned toward the back fence and crossed my arms with fists clenched to form an “X.” I stepped up to the ad side a few steps behind the baseline, twisting my racquet in my hand, ready to return. A booming first serve came and I ripped the biggest, cleanest forehand winner of my life, right down the line and yelled, “Allez!”
I went on to win the tiebreaker 10-8 but was disappointed by not winning sooner and having to use my X-Factor. My X-Factor refers to a sign I make by crossing my arms as a cue to concentrate in critical situations when I need to be clutch. I’ve been flaunting my X-Factor ever since the human joystick return specialist Dante Hall lit up the NFL and although I don’t think it always works, I only remember the times when it does.
My personal experience makes me question the idea of clutch. Can an athlete actually raise their level of play at critical moments or is clutch a construct or fabrication?We remember all of Jordan’s buzzer beaters but we forget that he also missed 29 game-winning shots. Clutch implies that some internal state, aware of the situation’s gravity, makes Jordan more likely to hit a particular shot when it’s a buzzer beater as opposed to a routine 1st quarter FG.
John Elway’s famous 4th quarter comebacks make clutch seem like procrastination because he waited until the end of the game to play well as was the case with my aforementioned tennis match.
My tennis match was only clutch on an individual level anyway, because although it tied the team score at 4-4, Vassar dropped the final match and lost, rendering my clutch win irrelevant.
In certain cases, it takes only one spectacular play to earn clutch status as David Tyree did with the “Helmet Catch” in Superbowl XLII.
In last year’s Superbowl, the Steelers’ Ben Roethlisberger threw a beautiful pass that should have been caught by Santonio Holmes for the game-winning score. Imagine that Roethlisberger doesn’t make the equally spectacular game-winning pass a couple plays later. Is the first throw clutch by Roethlisberger even though Holmes dropped it? Even though Roethlisberger stepped up in that moment to deliver the perfect throw, he is not clutch if it is not completed and they do not win. It becomes a forgotten pass.
I decided to write a Sports Psyc research paper on clutch but my professor shot down that idea because there isn’t much empirical data for clutch performance. That makes sense because clutch is intangible and by definition, cannot be measured like a 40 time.
If clutch does exist, it may be a heightened state of arousal that improves concentration and enhances performance. Think of an average lady lifting up a car to save her child trapped underneath. This clutch phenomenon could be measurable through somatic components such as heart rate, blood pressure, and skin conductance; but it may be hard to take Tom Brady’s vitals while he’s leading a game-winning drive in a Superbowl.
There is a football scene in the movie The 6th Day starring Arnold Schwarzenegger the Governator (he’s my governor so I can call him that) and the QB has a heads-up display that tells the play and alerts him of blitzes. Perhaps this sort of breakthrough is not far off as helmets are already fitted with radios for calling plays. Researchers have placed sensors in helmets to measure the impact of a hit on the neck and head.
Today, we are probably capable of measuring vitals or even brain activity with EEG (Electroencephalography) by modifying a helmet. Sports psychology awaits that one key innovation that leads to a series of advances in performance studies. This moment of invention that spurs rapid technological advancement is known as the alpha barrier. Only 66 years after the Wright’s first heavier-than-air flight, man landed on the moon. I suspect that Sports Psychology is approaching an alpha barrier breakthrough that may help to explain the clutch phenomenon. For now, clutch is a convenient fiction so I can wait to debunk it.
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