A Memo From No Joke

My new nickname in the Sports Information Bureau is “No Joke” because I find it necessary to add “no joke” in order to seem convincing at times when I do say something serious. That makes me the tennis team’s resident prankster, a title I embrace, because Bill Walsh was also a joker. When the 49ers arrived at the hotel before the 1982 Super Bowl, Walsh greeted his team disguised as a bell hop and it took several minutes before his players recognized him. The joke loosened up the team and they went on to win the big one.

When I heard of the administration’s plans to re-organize the budget to allocate money for a bronze representation of ITA Champion Mike Mattelson overlooking the Josselyn Courts, I took the opportunity to hyperbolize and build on the celebratory climate. I bring you this blog’s first attached team email, which was confusing to some, and a laugh for most:

Subject: Practice Today
From: shdonahue@vassar.edu
Date: October 5, 2009 1:11:24 PM EDT
To: VC Tennis Team

Special Announcement:

Part four of our blog has been posted. Tell your folks. And you should all be following by this point while it's still cool, before it becomes bandwagoning or front-running. I refitted the site and it flosses but there's still a bit more construction to be done.

I don't know if all of you congratulated Mike yet. Not cool. Get on that. There's a parade in his honor today at 4 on the quad so we need to all be in tennis apparel. I saw them setting up the stage behind Rocky this morning. Bags will be ready at noon. Tom Brady is the emcee.

And just for Mike, 2 videos, but don't get used to it because I usually just do one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzSpPaCIG0g

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRALJyv86eY&feature=related

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One of the reasons I like having freshman on the team is because they’re still susceptible to my jokes.

“Goose” texted me, “Hey is this parade thing for real?” I detected some skepticism so he passes.

“Stretch” sent me my favorite text of all time which set me off laughing as I walked across the entire campus, “What the [expletive] Shane? Liar! I’ve been waiting in the quad for an hour almost.”

As I suspected, he didn’t actually fall for it, just tried to flip it back on me. These freshman learn quickly. They do go to Vassar.